An Unextraordinarily Good Year

“I got married this year!” Applause Applause

“This past April, I launched my first business!” Applause Applause

“Glory to God - this year I finally got the promotion I’ve been praying on!” Applause Applause - Shouts of praise - Applause

All I could do was smile, nod, and applaud as the round robin worked its way towards me.

“What was the highlight of 2023 for you?”

A simple question. And one I should have expected. Yet I had no answer.

I start working through my life this year in reverse - December I’ve mainly been inside, November was really just Thanksgiving, October I guess Halloween was fun, September was just a lot of work . . ., hoping to stumble across something worth noting as the guy next to me finishes up his answer.

Applause Applause

Out of time. 

All eyes on me, I take my time introducing myself.

“I don’t think there’s been a highlight of the year for me” I start. “Not that it’s been a bad year, but there haven’t been any real big landmark moments. Honestly, the best part of this year has just been the community that I’ve been able to build. I feel like I’ve really found a core group of people - friends, family - that I can count on to support me, and a big part of that is the people I’ve met here at church.”

That’s what I said. 

And I’m finally beginning to be OK with my answer.

. . .

Monday - Thursday: Work. Hard.

Friday morning - Friday afternoon: Work. Harder.

Friday evening: Pizza with friends.

Saturday: Bacon egg and cheese on an everything bagel with grape jelly (I’m not here to fight about this). Rest. Write. Relaxed day or evening event with my people - a hike upstate, a picnic in central park, a calm birthday dinner.

Sunday: Church. Watch [insert latest Netflix reality TV show that makes me doubt the existence of true love] with friends. Prepare for the week.

This has been my life for the past 12 months. 

Sure, there have been a few memorable moments. A really great, unexpected vacation. Finally launching this blog after at least a year of procrastinating. A month off from work where I got to eat, write, and explore the city.

But this year has largely been unremarkable. Unextraordinary. No lavish travel destinations. No marriages. No big new job promotions. No landmark events.

Instead, I found a home in structure. Comfort in ritual and routine.

I now eagerly look forward to those 15 minutes in the morning with my overnight oats, berries, and cup of black tea that I can just sit and listen to a podcast.

Throughout the work week, the promise of Pizza Friday with my same group of friends is sometimes all that keeps me going.

A calm and restful Saturday coupled with a rejuvenating Sunday grounds me and prepares me for the week ahead.

It’s not much, but it’s consistent. It feels safe and reliable, and it’s been a blessing in ways I am only now beginning to recognize . . .

TRUE WEALTH

Steve Jobs is famously misquoted for saying this on his deathbed: “I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes my life is an epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. . .

“In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to.”

Firstly - I boldly claim this type of monetary wealth for my future. Misquote or not, I too want to become accustomed to Steve Jobs levels of wealth. (Saints, let’s hold hands and agree. Amen)

But now, as I look back on my 2023, I suppose I’ve become accustomed to another sort of wealth. The simple life I’ve described above, filled with standard work days, ritualized hangouts, calm weekends, and the sitcom-like group of the same recognizable friends, is a fortune of its own. And one that I didn’t always have.

Because it couldn’t have been more than a few years ago that I prayed to find true and honest community. When I really think back, it’s only been two years since I moved to New York City, wondering how I would be able to find rest and comfort in the city that never sleeps. If I’m being honest, it surely hasn’t been that long ago that I started to purposefully build towards a routine, a structure, a life that I could be proud of.

Yet, this year, these things I once hoped for are exactly what I have.

This year, the relatively ordinary things I once longed for - a core community of friends, a comfortable routine, true rest, a place that feels like home - are mine. This year, the wealth I once longed for has become a fact of my life.

And I almost forgot to appreciate just how wealthy I am.

. . .

“Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives. Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes, apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die. Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take care of itself.”

William Martin

Happy 2023 y’all.