Sin Is Disconnection

Why would a good God send somebody to hell? 

Hell is this terrible place with all these terrible things; why would a good and loving God send anybody there? Even people who want no business with Him don’t deserve that, right?

But then it depends on how you define Hell, isn’t it.

What if Hell is not definitionally a bad place; not some hole that an angry and jealous God throws people who don’t believe in him. What if Hell isn’t punishment from God, but rather, the exact thing that the “non believer” wants - separation from God. And if God is believed to be who He says He is, then separation from good. All things good. 

Though admittedly an immature view of religion, there was a time that I truly did believe that any pain in my life was direct punishment from God for my bad decisions. That God would cause bad to happen to me because I had done something bad myself. “Bad” oftentimes not even meaning that I’d necessarily done things wrong but that I just didn’t do them the way God wanted, which made my supposed wrongdoing and subsequent punishment all the more frustrating. I’d come to view right and wrong as an almost arbitrary definition imposed by an all knowing, though perpetually unknowable, higher power. But seeing sin, or any bad decisions, as disconnection from good has changed that.

And that’s because the ultimate good that I, and presumably most of you, religious or not, seek is connection. Healthy and meaningful connection and community is what we’re here for. It’s what makes us human. So if sin is reframed as disconnection from good . . . and the ultimate good is connection . . . it sounds a bit strange, but sin is really disconnection from connection. It’s separation from love.

The wrongdoings many of us strive to avoid are not wrong because of an arbitrary rule. They are wrong because they are in direct opposition to our humanity. They bring about the very thing that so many of us fear: disconnection. So it’s not “don’t do this because God said so,” it’s “don’t do this because it will bring the very thing we can all agree we don’t want.” And if you do do it, well, I’ll just give you exactly what you’re asking for.

. . .

I’ve had a tough enough time keeping my own actions in line, so I don’t think for a second that a few cleverly worded paragraphs can guide you to any big shifts in behavior. Nor is “sin as disconnection” a groundbreaking idea that others haven’t already considered. This is simply a slight reframing. A cause for pause that I’ve found helpful as I go through life and think through the consequences of my actions. Sure what I’m thinking of doing is “a sin”, sure what I’m considering is “wrong”, but, ultimately, will it facilitate connection or disconnection? 

Ironically, many of the poor decisions we make are in the name of pursuing or protecting some form of connection, yet are direct contributors to disconnection:

We lie to protect others’ feelings, but in doing so only further separate ourselves from those we care to protect in the first place.

We cheat and engage in all kinds of frowned upon spicy behavior to feel close to somebody and end up hurting the somebodies who already love us.

We envy and steal to feel close to things but in doing so end up far from people and what truly matters.

Our pride, an attempt to make ourselves feel better or more confident, inevitably distances us from others who we need to be small in order for us to be big.

Connection is what makes us human. Sin separates us from our humanity.

My very very first blog post, I mused over the big question: why do bad things happen to good people. My big revelation was that much of the pain and hurt that we experience is random - the scattered outcome of the proverbial wheel of fortune.

I suppose there’s a piece of me that still believes this to be true. Now, as might be expected to come with maturity, I’ve started to reframe some of my pain and hurt - especially my interpersonal pain and hurt - as a direct consequence of my own decisions. Some things are simply my fault, not the random whims or divine punishment of God. Sometimes we invite disconnection into our homes and wonder why a good and loving God would put us in such a bad place.

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