Anti Musing Musing Club

This quote may sound like an exaggeration, but I imagine if you take the few minutes to think back, it’s as true for many of you as it is for me.  I can recall once, maybe twice if I think really hard, when I’ve actually been able to think myself into happiness. 

Much easier to recall are late night conversations when I would confess to my friends “I can think myself out of any good thing if you give me enough time,” or evenings spent turning a decision over and over in my mind to the point where I couldn’t sleep, or thinking and re-thinking and thinking and re-thinking my next move until I make worse than a bad move - I make no move at all. 

Thinking, love it though I may, has not served me well.

Before, I’ve touched on the importance of stopping thinking and taking action. This isn’t quite the same. You can reap the benefits of this idea if you never take action; if you sit where you’re reading this from now until the end of time. 

This is about not assigning value judgments to everything we experience and everything we think. Because not everything requires a value judgment. In fact, most things don’t.

THE TWO TYPES OF THINKING

Kind of like Jesus, the two types of thinking have gone by different names over the years. Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman called them System 1 and System 2 - System 1 responsible for fast, heuristic based thinking and System 2 for slow, critical thinking. Some call it intuitive vs analytical  thinking. Or emotional vs controlled thinking. I’ve heard “the elephant and the rider” before - I’ll leave you to decide which is which. Others just call it having a gut feeling vs not. 

I like to call it thinking vs thinking about thinking. 

Thinking about thinking is what we do when we assign value judgements to our thoughts. It’s what I do when I shoot down an idea for a new post before I even finish thinking of the idea. It’s what you do when you convince yourself not to speak up during a work meeting because everybody is going to think you’re stupid. It’s what we do when we smother our gut feelings and instincts with excess analysis and rationalization. 

We all know how tiring thinking about thinking can feel.

Thankfully, we also know how the opposite of thinking about thinking feels: flow. Popularized by Michael Csikszentmihalyi in the 1970s, flow is effortless action - those periods of peak performance yet minimal self awareness when we just flow through a task. To the athlete, flow is “being in the zone.” To the artist, it’s free and inspired creation when your inner critic is silenced. To the spiritualist, flow is the mental quiet during deep meditation. To the intellectual, it’s full immersion into a challenging problem; the optimal state when you’re simultaneously reaching and breaking mental barriers as you work towards a solution. 

Flow is how we want to feel all the time. 

But we only get to flow when we stop thinking about thinking. We only get there when our minds are quiet.

And not just metaphorically. During flow, our brains decrease their prefrontal cortex activity and enter into a state called transient hypofrontality. Being in flow makes our brains look similar to when we’re dreaming or watching a captivating film or standing in awe at our world’s natural wonders - all near euphoric experiences characterized by diminished sense of self and time.

When we’re in flow there is no thinking of being happy. There’s just being happy.

HOW TO STOP THINKING OURSELVES OUT OF HAPPINESS

The first mistake we make is believing we can think ourselves into happiness. Life is to be lived, not controlled. “Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails.” In other words, it’s not always up to you. You can’t think and plan your way into your perfect happy ending.

There are things we know that contribute to happiness, sure. And yes, we can spend more of our time on these things. But there are no certainties in life. Sometimes, it just won’t work out the way you thought. And that’s OK. In many ways, I’ve found happiness to come from an acceptance of what is instead of longing for what isn’t.

Just like a game, life moves pretty fast. Think too much and you may miss your moment.

The artist’s instant of inspiration is brief. Think too much about “how good your idea is”  and you may kill it before it has a chance to live.

The romantic’s chance is fleeting. Think too much about what they might say and how they may feel and you’ll never take the leap.

The modern mind is overstimulated. Think about every thought that crosses your mind and you’ll be stuck in your mind.

Sometimes, you just have to let life flow. Just like water.

BE LIKE WATER

This has been my wallpaper for the past few months.

In an effort to stop thinking about my thinking, it serves as a gentle reminder to be like water. 

It’s easy to spend life stuck in the clouds, thinking. Thinking about your experiences, thinking about your thoughts, sorting them into good and bad, right and wrong. We dive into them, seeking to praise our goodness and correct our badness. And slowly, what started as an imperfect experience or an imperfect thought transforms into a bad self image.

When this happens, I’d encourage us to be like the lake - not assigning value judgements, but simply reflecting the world around us.

Don’t think. Observe.

Don’t judge. Reflect.

A thought can just be a thought. An idea can just be an idea. An experience that didn’t turn out how you wanted can be just that. We open the door for unnecessary complexity when something must either be good or bad.

There comes a stillness when we just let some things be as they are.

It’s OK to acknowledge what happens in our lives and our minds. It’s impossible not to. But like a flowing river or like the popular meditation example - like a stream of cars passing by - don’t let all that stuff stay in your mind too long. My youth pastor used to say “you can’t control the birds that fly by, but you can control the ones that make a nest.”

Just let it happen. Let it pass. Or let it be.